Fiona Neo

2011-08-10T15:41:00.002+08:00

Ain't about you anymore.

Life's been good. Though a few fights with N, but well things are fine now.
I've been working, waiting for school to start in October. Can't wait to graduate in April.

Been partying a little more than expected, headache when I think about alcohol now.
Lousy me.

-
Freezing in office now. Literally doing nothing, gonna meet Huiyu &Muchen tonight :) Can't wait for another gossiping session! HAHA.

Sometimes I swear I hate N so much. So annoyed by his unreasonable and immature thinking. Pffft.

I said I'd leave when I am prepared to, but I guess the day will never come.

2011-07-22T12:34:00.002+08:00

WTF I JUST WROTE LIKE A VERY VERY VERY LONG POST AND IT'S GONE NOW.

IIP

2011-04-05T17:17:00.001+08:00

Pretty much, I hate attachment. 450 bucks and I work like dog. Fml seriously. So yeah, I have ended work and is on my way home now. I guess right after I bath I would sleep. What a life. Ever since attachment starts, I barely had time to talk to N. In the past I could still talk to him untill 3am. Now, I barely talk or half an hour and I fell asleep with the phone in my hand. And N has to hang up, almost every single time he purposely kept quiet to let me sleep. Gawd, why is life like this now. 4 weeks had past, 12 more weeks to go. I shall hang on, just get it over and done with. Right after that I can enjoy my 3months holiday and get back to school and finish my last semester before I graduate. I can't wait to end this. For goodness sake, I don't even know why I took up this course. Should have go into S's line. I rather be in office than to run around to many places and give health screening. I miss N so much now ):

fear

2011-03-25T20:22:00.001+08:00

When I am gone, all I ask for is my love ones to be fine. As the day gets nearer, I find myself living in fear. Though I am grateful that I have N to go through all with me, but time to time I feel like I am a burden to him.

2011-02-22T17:44:00.002+08:00

ORD LOR!

So...2 years of school have officially ended yesterday at 3pm. ORD LOR! Left with the last year, half a year attachment and I'd only be back in school for the last half of the year. HELL YEAH, I AM FINALLY GOING TO END THIS SHIT DIPLOMA.

I'm supposed to be going Bangkok with the awesome people, however there's some riot going on there right now and the plan is on hold. I'd rather throw away the 300 than to risk my life there. But still...I feel like going as well! ):

Aiya whatever la, we'll see how things goes.

So if I'm not going bangkok, from now till the 7th march I don't have any plan at all. Pffft, I don't know what to do other than playing mahjong every night. I think that's gonna be my plan. Play mahjong untill the morning, wake up at 5pm. Then wait untill 11plus in the night again then start playing mahjong again. Awesome life huh (:

K off to dinner now, then come back and decides whether tonight mahjong is still on!

2011-01-31T13:04:00.002+08:00

What can I do to forget.

I just want to pretend nothing has happen, and we live like we used to be. I know I've been telling you this over and over again, but I guess it's still me who can't get over it.

I don't blame you, just blame myself for telling you. Why am I so dumb, since you forgot what happen that night I should just keep my mouth shut.

Why did I get emotional all over again and let you see it.

Why, why why. I am just so dumb.

Betrayed? That's not exactly it. I don't know what should I categorise it into.

Why can't I just forget about it? I'd do anything, just for it to be out of my memory.

Every single time it came into my mind,part of my heart falls apart. It's slowly killing me on the inside. But it's okay...I'll be fine. As long as we're still together, I'll be fine. Because slowly, my heart dies and eventually this incident mean nothing to me.

You asked if being with you was hard, I'd say it's harder to live without you.

This time round, let me be stupid. Just let me cry another round, and I'd be perfectly fine.

2011-01-28T02:42:00.002+08:00

Party!

It's 2.44am and I'm supposed to be asleep. There's still school later and I think I'm going to be late like usual. Urgh, I can't seem to be early for school, but I can be early for everything else. I swear if you were to ask me up for something else at 630am, I can be on time. But school at 915am, I'd be damn late.

I'm getting a little sleepy now. Shall finish this up fast and head to bed.

N's birthday is coming! To be exact, tomorrow! Can't wait to have some fun.

I guess it'd be at powerhouse? Seeing how things are planned and everything, it's pretty confirmed. But hell, I don't want to end up at the dance floor. My purpose of going is to make sure he doesn't fight, and to get him home safely. I'm sure he'd end up drunk.

But his is plan is otherwise, he wants to get me drunk and bring me to the dance floor. Make sure I dance with him, and that's his birthday wish. Like...what?! Everyone in this world knows I don't dance, they know I'd end up standing there even if you pull me down. Somehow, he knows if I'm drunk there'd be chances that I'll dance with him. Bastard boyfriend.

Shopping for New Year is done. Meeting Stacy to walk around on Saturday afternoon and I've booked an appointment for manicure at Far East on Tues! :) I'm like a happy girl.

N says I act like a queen now. Sibei song! Hehehe. It is only during New Year I can have all these shopping and manicure.

Okay, happy girl is going to sleep now and enjoy my weekends! I'll start partying on my own right after school later!

2011-01-17T20:46:00.002+08:00

I'm glad I have you.

It is on the verge of losing that you realise how important it is to you.

I think the both of us knew something was wrong, and yesterday was probably the day I realise it was all my fault. From the start, all I said was we change. I thought so..untill last night.

Yes, you do change. But you change to be nicer to me, you did everything for me. In return, I did nothing for you. All I thought was for myself.

I wasn't like this in the past, and I knew it was because you always do things in my way and I'm starting to take things for granted.

Last night when I had to leave work because of fever, you met me without second thought. You bought dinner for me, you settle everything for me. You make sure I had my medicine and I was sleeping before you finally had your rest.

As we were walking to your place, I couldn't take it any more. I felt as though I was going to faint, thus I cried. That's when you hold me tight and told me we're reaching in no time.

When I was lying on your bed, you took panadol for me; you took my temperature; you kiss me on my cheek, you told me not to cry any more. I remembered all these. I'm glad I have you when I'm at my worst. You sure do deserve my best.

I'm sorry that I'm such a spoilt brat. I'm sorry for all the shit I've done to you.

Thank you for staying when you have the reason to leave, thank you for not leaving me alone.

I know I can put my heart down, trust you and know that you're no longer the same Nelson everyone use to know. You're no longer that Nelson every girl would try to avoid because you use to be a heartbreaker.

I love you.

2011-01-13T14:30:00.002+08:00

Happy ending.

2011, I would say it started great. However, somehow I came to realise we fought more than usual. Finally, you have something to say. I would say, I'm thankful it happens.

So glad that it's over and we came to realise expectations are nothing. What's more important is that we chose to stay, when we have the reasons to leave.

Nelson Chua, I love you.

January and Feb is going to fun, for me! Meldryne's birthday on Saturday! &this Saturday would be my first time stepping into club, and sad to say N wouldn't be going. So much for being 17. HAHAHA.

He's like mad worried for me because I'll be like a innocent 8years old kid when I step into it. He told me all the 'rules' for a girl in a club, what the guys would usually do. &what's more funny, he told me I'm a easy prey -.- So I'd actually be guy's first target cause they can see it's actually my first time stepping into club.

He also say he won't be sleeping, waiting for my call untill the whole birthday party is over :')

How nice of him. He can't stop reminding me about calling him if I sense something is wrong, if I am getting drunk or whatever. HAHAHA, I am 18! I can take care of myself Baby!

So after this party, soon it'd be N's birthday. Then right after that is New Year. The best part is coming...I AM GOING BANGKOK FINALLY!

I've been wanting to go bangkok for like...months. Finally I am going. &the best thing about it I'm going with Meld, Alun and rest! :D

The first 2 months of 2011 is like awesome, I wonder what's the rest of the year going to be like.

Lastly, I wonder what I should get for N for his 18th.

2011-01-04T15:00:00.002+08:00

In pain.

I'm in great pain now, I don't know what's is wrong with my body. I guess, it's inflammation.

I miss N so much now, so much. But it's only Tuesday. Really sucks to be without N when I'm in pain. All I want now is to be in his arms and sleep. I don't like, I don't like, I don't like! ):

How I wish N can just come back like that.

I want him to come out now, we have a getaway.

And best, never return.

2010-12-26T17:45:00.002+08:00

Mahjong Queeeeeeen

This Christmas may not be the greatest. but I have my share of fun.

And so, I headed to JB with Dad and family on Thursday, came back just the next day. Over to meet N, and spent my Christmas with him. Awesome awesome weekend.

Stayed over at his from Friday till earlier, dread to leave but well he had to book in.

&so on Friday we went to his mum's stall for lunch, then back for Mahjong! Hehe. Slept again aftermath, KFC for dinner then we sat outside Sunplaza thinking of places to go. Countdown...we end up staying at home. HAHAHAHA.

We played poker with forfeit of smacking of ears, had a short heart to heart talk, fell asleep right after.

Woke up in the afternoon, lunch at Sembawang Mart then waited for his family to be back home. Meanwhile, another Mahjong session with his Sis& Jiefu. HEHE.

Headed down to Bedok for dinner, then back for another Mahjong! This time round with his mum and his sis. Woah, so nice to have boyfriend that play mahjong. Plus his family plays mahjong as well.

Supper then slept right after. So yeah, I'm home right now while he's in camp. Life is bored without him ):

The moment I reached home, elder brother ask if I wanna play mahjong. HEHE. Might play if one of his friend back out last minute. Call me the mahjong queen now!

I have got the cutest boy on earth.

2010-12-14T13:14:00.002+08:00

Enough.

I miss you, I really do.

But all I see is you forcing me to study everyday.

I hate school, and you know it. Please don't force me any more, please?

I'll still do my best when I'm in school, but when I'm not don't tell me to study. I've had enough of school.

I just want you to be back.

I want to be in your arm.

We do nothing, we don't speak.

Just stay in your arms for hours, because that's where I feel safe.

2010-12-06T21:02:00.002+08:00

1st Anniversary.

A year ago, we were still colleague celebrating G’s birthday. So many things happen that night, and this was one that no one expects.

The start of celebration wasn’t a very good one, then after that someone somehow had some trouble. All I did for the whole night was to sit at the side and watch people sing; drink and play some games with some other friends around. In other word, I’m a little like sitting there the whole night doing nothing. Well, I had to wait for you because in the end you were the only one that lives in Sembawang.
So you know, it’s a little like no choice but had to wait for you. (I did not regret though)

Oh so well, we ended up together. At that very moment so many questions have been running through my mind.

Like how our relationship is going to affect the people around us, especially when you had just ended yours a week ago. &I asked myself if I should risk myself this time round. After 2years, I finally let my heart down to someone.
&it’s someone I barely know. This is how amazing what love can do.

Now that you’re in NS, I know things are gonna change. Let’s just hope for the best. I don’t know what to expect for, and I know we’re going to fight more than we expect.

We don't celebrate it like any other couples, but you know what, spending time with each other alone makes me happy.
Just spending the whole afternoon sleeping away; Playing this stupid bubble saliva game. Making you dance that "despicable me" dance, and pushing you off the bed. These are enough to make me happy :')

We had our fights, our fun, now it’s a year. Thinking back, I know you’re worth the risk.

Happy First Anniversary Baby!

2010-11-24T20:03:00.001+08:00

6December2009

At the end of the day, you're still the one.

Still the sweetest.

2010-11-21T02:41:00.003+08:00

Insecure.

Because I know you won't read it, I can write my heart out here.

I saw something that I wish I didn't. I don't know how to react to it, I don't know how the hell I manage to get through today.

I'm sorry, but those texts makes me feel insecure.

For that 2hours that you were sleeping, I was crying. I bet you didn't know.

I asked myself, why must I do this to myself? I can just change and walk out of the house. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. How many times have I cry over you? How much more is it coming?

&when you tried to pat me to sleep, I cry even harder. I tried so hard to cover up, I tried so hard to hide those sound. I don't even know how to confront.

Times like this makes me realise how important you are in my life.

You know, I'm just afraid she would destroy us.

I wonder how many more of this are coming in. Because, soon enough I won't be so nice any more. Soon enough, I will just blurt out every single thing that I'm keeping.

Soon enough, I might just walk away.

2010-11-15T00:45:00.002+08:00

Let me give you that fuck faceeeeeee.

Weekends are awesome I should say. When N is here, what's there to worry about! :D

All the shopping and eating good food makes me happy. Though I did not but anything at all, but well...at least we are out instead of sleeping at home.

Bishan on Saturday afternoon with his family, then we headed down to Vivo ourselves. He managed to buy a everlast shoe, awesome like what only. Cause it's ME who chose it! LOL.

What's up next weekend? :)

Oh, you know what? I GOT OFF FROM TODAY UNTILL SATURDAY! Awesome or what?

N's gonna book out on Tues because is a freaking public holiday on wed! woots woots.

I think I've been like really really crazy recently. I don't know what's gotten onto me, I've been like real hyper. &I think N thinks I'm already crazy or what. This is the first time he see me like this I guess, and Stacy is already like use to it. HAHAHA.

But on the other side, I think N is getting crazy too. He literally join in the fun with me, and starts his nonsense at times as well.

We laugh at the smallest joke as if it's the greatest joke. What's the best? Nobody understands our joke. HAHAHAHAHA

2010-11-12T00:03:00.002+08:00

Let's pack and run, shall we?

This whole is week is just a bad week. I don't know what to expect any more.

&it came upon me this one thing, when I'm in need I don't know who to turn to. Yeah, maybe just one person, N. But you know what, he can't be here at all.

Sometimes, I get so upset with him. But afterall, it wasn't his fault at all. Not that he doesn't want to be here, he can't be. Oh well, one thing about NS.

I don't know if its me or what, it seems like the week is passing so slow. I miss N so much now. Nothing that we can do at all, nothing.

Son ah, can you come and save me like you used to? I'm getting a little out of patience waiting.

2010-10-27T23:32:00.002+08:00

Sick cat.

I've been ill for days. To be exact, 3days. Starts sneezing on Monday and fever start kicking yesterday morning. Skip school and head to work in the night :/ Sucha drag to be working when you're ill cause time passes damn slow.

Gave school a miss again today as I woke up feeling damn bad. Manage to climb out of bed at 3pm and prepare to meet Jiamin at Bishan. Koi, then shop around junction8, S11 for dinner then library and home! I'm a happy girl today cause I bought a earpiece, a damn freaking cute singlet for N's niece.

Finally N on his phone at 945pm -.- I've been trying to get him since morning. TSK.

Oh I totally forgot he can book out tomorrow cause he have got appointment at KTH hospital at 12pm! Teeheehee. I hope he can don't book in after that :/

&he promised outing on the weekends if I'm well! So I swear I'm going to get well by tomorrow. But well, I don't really care. Even if I'm sick, I'd still ask him to bring me out. HAHAHAHA. I don't wanna stay at home the whole day and just rot there to die. I'd feel worst if I were to rest at home. I need to go out yknow.

K, I need to rest if not N's gonna kill me. Goodnight! love you N.

2010-10-24T23:59:00.001+08:00

Awesome awesome weekend.

Probably the best weekend I have ever since N steps into NS. Met him on Saturday afternoon and ate at his mum's shop. Gawd, I'm craving for it again the moment I think about it. This week again please? :)

Then his place and nuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa all the way untill night. Met the usual awesome people, down to woodlands centre then Geylang for Da wang you tiao :D

Over to his place this morning, and slept all the way till 510pm. For a few times, I jumped up from some dream and he literally jump up as well. HAHAHA, mad funny. He was damn shock.

Oh well, had to left his place the moment I woke up and bath as I was scheduled to work at 6pm. Took cab all because I overslept -.-

Awwww I miss N already ): Only he will pat me to sleep, only he will hug me to sleep.

Cliché, but yes I still get butterflies when he hold me close even though we've been together for 10months plus. That's the wonder of him.

&because he's different, I love him :)

Booooooooo, I hate NS. I WANT HIM BACK TO ME SOON PLEASE? Someone to pat me to sleep every night, someone to hug me to sleep every night.

Only he will be so sweet to me. Where to find such awesome boyfriend? :D

2010-10-22T15:03:00.003+08:00

I just need my boyfriend.

It's a Friday and I'm working. Gonna bath in 20 minutes time then leave home for lunch before I start work.

I don't know, but I just don't feel right. Pffft, I don't know what's happening. Whatever, what's gonna happen is going to. I can't do anything about it at all.

Wtf, I swear I did reply N's text everyday. But it seems like the messages can't be send through whenever his phone is off. I mean...I send and if he did not on his phone for the next hour, that message won't be send. &I receive that stupid delivery report stating sending failed -.-

I think it's because my number is prepaid, so yeah. I need to change my number soon!

2010-10-18T12:04:00.003+08:00

God sent

Some people are real important in my life. You know people like N, Celeste, Stacy& my family. Over in Hong Kong, I came to realise how important people like N is in my life.

For the past 11months, I've been so dependant on him. It seems like over in Hongkong, I need him so much.

Oh well, seems like he's going to be busy with Army this weekend. I don't ask for much, I just hope he can book out on Saturday afternoon.

I feel so pampered. Left home earlier in the morning to head to school, and I actually took cab because its too hot.

I always get what I want, especially from N. HEHEHE. Love him to the max la. Gawd, speaking about him makes me miss him so much.

Love you Nelson Chua!

2010-10-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

Nobody said it'd be easy

You claim that you're understanding, you claim that you know. But..I think you know nothing at all. We're having different heart now, we never have the same idea.

Right from the start, we all know that things are going to be hard, nobody said it'd be easy. But why are you complaining now?

Don't tell me it's different. Because like you, I'm earning money. But to the least, I'm making effort to make time for you. No matter how tired I am, I still rushed over to meet you. No matter how tired I am, I still text you every time I end work. I try my best to wake up at 5 in the morning to text you because that's when you'd on your phone.

Like you, I'm trying my very best.

At this point of time, not only you who are feeling upset about the whole issue. I am upset as well. Whenever I see a miss call after work, knowing that you're asleep by then and I can't call back, I get angry with myself too. I know it's my decision to work.

But darling, please do not compare.

Don't tell me how much this person picks up your call when I don't.

Do you know how much it hurts when you simply say "My mum picks up the call whenever I call. &you don't"

In other words, you're just trying to say that I'm not there for you after the whole day of work out in Army when you want to talk to someone. You know it very well that I want to talk to you as well.

How much it can sucks when your boyfriend is just so insensitive.

"oh, I just called to ask if you have passed the ATM card to jiejie"

Yeah, after 2days of not talking. After me sending so much undelivered message, after so much of me waiting for your call the whole day when I'm not working. This is what I received.

Thank you very much.

Are all these going to be over soon?

I want a break from all this shit and have a good weekend with you next week )':

2010-10-10T20:34:00.002+08:00

A little too late.

After reading N's blog, I came to realise that whatever I've been doing/whatever I thought about for the past weeks was so wrong.

For a moment, I thought money was everything in the world. Rather, after he got into NS, I kept on telling myself that money was everything.

So I took up a job, and now school is starting. I thought, life would be so much more nicer with a job. I was so wrong, so wrong. I don't even have time for N, I don't know what I want any more.

My weekends are supposed to be spent with him, but now...it seems like work is overtaking everything else. I didn't knew he mind. &it hurts more knowing that he can be so understanding towards the things that I'm doing. It should be the other way round, shouldn't I be more understanding that he needs me more after the book out every week.

Half of me doesn't want to work because I want to spend the whole weekend with him. But, I don't want to be a burden to him as well. I can't be possibly be spending his money when he doesn't even have a high income.

At this point of time, I know who is best for me. It is always the same few people that I can count on. Love you guys a lot a lot.

On a lighter note, N& the awesome people came over to look for Gavin& me after our work. Teeheehee. Love N the most la!

After the HongKong trip on the coming Friday, I promise to spend more time with him as much as I can.

2010-10-04T22:37:00.002+08:00

Strained muscles and affected nerves.

I don't know how I survived today. Woke up by the sudden pain on both thigh at 930am, endure it through the whole morning untill 1pm. I swear I was screaming at home, I couldn't take the pain at all. It hurts like...okay I don't know how to explain but it really hurts. I guess even a sprain on the ankle doesn't hurt as much as this. STRAINED MUSCLE REALLY HURTS LIKE FUCK.

A minute of standing made me want to kill someone. I can't stop screaming at home, and I almost cried. Text Dawn, and she accompanied me to the doctor :)

So yeah, left arms are numb so had a checkup for that as well.

Strained muscles, and the nerves on my left arm are...affected somehow. I don't either. Must be all the round off and frog I did during the past few trainings. HAHA.

But freak, competition is coming in 2 weeks time. I got this kind of injury. FML.

Doc asked me to rest for 2 days. which meant I can't jump for 2 days -.- But well..trainings are only on on Friday. HAHA.

First day of work...I took MC. Not exactly first day, but it's only today that my pay are counted. The previous 2 times were just 'trying out'. Oh well, I have an awesome manager. Resume work tomorrow, from 6pm to 1030pm. I hope I don't screw it up somehow :/

The pain come and go, and I swear I feel like cutting my legs off when the pain is here. Pffft.

N called earlier, I don't know why but I feel so much better after talking to him. I mean...I have always wanted to call him the whole of today because of the pain but his phone is confiscated. Tsk, NS sucks.

Gawd, I really need N now, especially during the pain. I can't endure the pain at all. I want Friday to come by fast. Real fast.

2010-09-30T02:43:00.002+08:00

Woo la la.

It's 243am, I'm supposed to be asleep. But...thinking that N is gonna book out makes me feel soooooooooo EGG-CITED :D I can't sleep at all. HAHA.

I have to be awake by 11am. Gawd,damn tiring ): But...for the money what to do. School is starting soon, and if I don't work, I don't think I can survive in school like this.

Okay whatever, my mind is all about N now. I can't wait to see him at 7plus :D I am gonna end work at 7pm, they are coming to fetch me then fetch N :) WOO HOO. Then back to N's to bath...&I don't know what's their plan after that. LOL.

Ala, I don't care what's their plan after that. As long as I get to see him, I get to eat at his place then I happy already.

But...this weekend I'm damn busy ): I don't think I'd be able to see him as much. Chalet on Saturday and this idiot doesn't want to acc me...so yeah I'll meet him when I'm back. Sun I can't go out at all, Grandpa's 70th Birthday. Next week then I guess. It'd be another week without him again. Pffft, but time would pass faster since I'm working.

I'm a little like talking to myself, HAHA. Complain already then comfort myself again. Crap. Okay, I'm hungry gonna cook maggie now.

N, I'll see you in 17hours time! Love you Baby.

2010-09-25T05:36:00.003+08:00

Change

Change, is the only constant thing in life.

Who expects me to be who I am today. Who knows, what's gonna happen next, No one.

Now what you're in the Army, so much more changes are going to take place. I know things are going to be different. I don't expect things to be the same, especially when I'm going to work soon.

I don't know...I just don't feel the same any more. I expect more from you I guess. Through these days that you are not with me, I thought about almost everything.

Of course, it isn't about love that I'm talking about. I still feel the same about you, I still love you as much darling.

What's different is the person, the things that are around us.

I hope, that you'd be mature after all the trainings that you go through. That you'd have a thought about yourself, about your future, about your family.

So what's your next step? What are you going to do after your Army life. Are you going to study, or work. Or continue the life that you're living now. As much as I'd love to know, I hope to see a better future. I'm sorry, but I get a little insecure thinking about it.

Even I myself don't know what step I am going to take next. What's for me after this diploma?

Am I going to live life like this. &if I'm still with you, can I even continue living life like this.

All I can say...Life gets harder as we grow older.

I love you Baby N. See you in 5days time :)

2010-09-23T04:17:00.001+08:00

Damn, he's sexy.

I miss this sexy ass. In just exactly one week, I'll see him.

How awesome can that be :)

2010-09-20T18:04:00.002+08:00

30th sept!

Gawd, it's been 4days only. 10 more days to go through ):

I can't wait to see him botak! Hehe. Must take photo with him.

What's nice is that I've got plans on for this whole week. Not everyday of course, but at least something to keep me busy. Gonna go Polyclinic tomorrow morning for check up, then dinner with Lihong :)

Tekong with school on Wed! :D Then weekends are all for training -.- Don't really feel like going, but for the competition also bo bian. I mean...fri-sun all taken because of training leh! Gawd.

I miss Baby a lot. A LOT.

2010-09-15T07:46:00.002+08:00

16 Sept.

Can I be teleport to 16Sept 2012 please? I don't wanna go through this. Everyone told me it's hard, everyone tells me things are gonna change. Though I don't know if it's gonna be like what they say, but I rather not take the risk.

In 24hours time, we should be preparing to leave for Tekong. I don't know what kind of feeling I'd get tomorrow, all I know is I don't want you to be away )':

I guess I'll not be meeting you for the whole of today as you're gonna be with your friends. I'll see you tomorrow then Baby.

Darling Baby N, I don't know how to survive for that 2 weeks. I'm too dependant on you I know.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Mixed feelings.

Can we remain on Monday? Just stay at your place and play the whole day.

Urgh this is killing me.

2010-09-14T18:54:00.002+08:00

Unfair Treatment.

I think I've got PMS or something, haven't been in a good mood at all. Little thing annoys me, rather things that I don't even bother to be mad with is now affecting me.

Well, probably due to the cramps that I've been having for the past few days.

N is out with his friends, just dump me at home -.- Cramps are coming again, tsk.

Unwell, I guess I'll just stay at home today.

I guess I've had enough. This might be the last time.

&the truth is, I'm afraid.

There's so much I want to say, but I guess its a little inappropriate. &this isn't the right time, YET.

2010-09-07T04:34:00.002+08:00

9th!

Oh well, I know I said I would be away for a week or so. But yknow, I'm really bored now.

Time check: 436am.

Today is Tuesday, I'm going to have my second paper in 12hours time. Health& wellness...I didn't revise for it at all. Well, it's pretty much a common sense module -.- So I'm gonna crap my way through. What's bad is that I have to do essay for this freaking module. How am I suppose to complete an essay in just an hour time?! Omg, I am afraid for that of course.

If only essay is just like blogging, LOL. I'm sure I'd get an A.

Tomorrow..Injury Prevention& Management. I swear I have to start studying for that after Health&wellness's paper. I don't know, but I guess I'd be able to get at least a C for the over grade? I mean, I hope.

Just 4 more paper, get over and done with then I'd have freedom. I'd be done with this semester. I can enjoy myself for another month (Y)

My body clock is so messed up, I'm still so awake even though I slept for only like 3hours before I head for the paper. Thankfully paper is at 430pm later on, I can have more sleep.

As usual, N is out drinking. I'm home trying to study but fail. Met Gavin earlier and we talked from 12 all the way to 4am. Amazing, haha.

K, I'm going to head to bed now. I love N, happy 9thmonthsary! :)

i'm just way too sexy

2010-09-02T17:51:00.003+08:00

Argh (: ok mission to hit 200words in this post,chey.... 200 NIA :D eeehhhh

like primary school work leh :D by the way HELLO all readers i'm Nelson (: here to post for her ask i owe her one 200words post =x donno where the hell is she also :D dead ahahhaha!

i bet she's gona kill me after seeing this post :D as i'm just way too sexy lols :D

you better study well and get B for all you test if not you're dead (:

Sian 2more weeks i'll be in NS liao :D you better behave arh don let me catch hor :D you still don have my skill of hiding ok so better don try :D AHAHAHAH!

Sometimes i think of studying also but -.- i scare later you tio Ps cos i don talk while i study

so you must be happy cos i don study :D Right don kay siao hor :D

i'm bored ): SAVE ME LEH nvm lah i going back bed also anyway my room is so cold Jealous right :Dahahas i think here got 200 words liao ba

don have next time then pay you back :D HOLY MOLY my sexy bed i'm COMING@ (Y)

love ya WENQI (:

2010-09-01T01:18:00.002+08:00

Away for 2 weeks.

I guess I will be away from blogger for about 2weeks or so. Unless Baby is willing to post that 200words blogpost which he promised :)

Exams are next week, have to start studying now. This time round, it's either I do it or I fail and retake in year4. Tsk, I hate it when I'm like...at the border line fail range.

Urgh whatever, I am back to studying now. It's 130 in the morning by the way. See, I'm leading a pathetic life ):

2010-08-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

Away,

Pffft. 3 weeks and 5 days.

I still don't like the fact that I can't see N for 2 weeks ): I don't want!

I have to start studying from tomorrow, or Monday.

Comeon, just this last exams before I really enjoy myself.

For the 2 weeks that you're away, I swear I don't know how to survive. Been so dependant on you...tsk.

I can't just go over to your place for a nap, watch movie.

I can't just meet you at 8pm for late dinner.

I can't just text you any time, and get a reply straight.

I don't want you to be away ):

2010-08-18T14:08:00.002+08:00

N ♥

Nothing better than this ♥

I never wanted luxury life, I never asked for branded bags.

I don't need to go restaurant every week. I don't need hundreds of dollars to be in my wallet.

But if we have it, it's be a blessing.

Cause all I ever wanted, was a simple life with You.

Even if its staying at home the whole day, eating home cook food everyday.

Heading out once in a while with close friends and enjoy ourselves.

I considered it as amazing.

As long as you're happy, as long as you're safe.

As long as you've enough for yourself.

2010-08-16T11:38:00.002+08:00

Do you still love me like you use to?

Cause I do, &I don't think you do any more.

2010-08-13T14:10:00.001+08:00

Shop here!

http://shopwith-celeste.blogspot.com/

2010-08-10T23:08:00.002+08:00

Random thoughts.

What if, someone nicer, someone prettier, someone smarter came along and tell you she loves you. Are you gonna dump me for her?

What if, someone you love so much in the past came along and tell you she still loves you. Are you gonna dump me for her?

&now, let's take away the "What if". Are you gonna dump me for that?

That was just a stupid random thought.

I am so bored. I still have school tomorrow.

I want N now.

I don't know why I miss N so much even thought I just left him an hour ago.

I love N so much that I think I am going to cry my eyes out if he ever leaves me.

I think I am just crapping now.

I am going to school tomorrow :)

I want to meet N tomorrow.

I want to pass all my paper for UT3.

I mean, with all B.

I want it, but I don't like the process to achieve it.

I am going to start studying from 23rd August onwards.

I want to let Baby be proud of my grades.

I want to tell Baby my grades with smiles all over my face.

Yes, I am going to let it happen.

Baby, aren't you going to support me? :)

Come, give me a big hug& kiss, I am sure I'll be able to do it. Hehehe.

2010-08-06T14:00:00.003+08:00

I don't need no silly boy, I just need my boyfriend.

His eyes are like girl's. Double eyelid, huge eye with long lashes. That's like the perfect eye.

His lips, pretty much like a girl's as well.

This pretty boy, is my boyfriend.

He plays like a kid at times, he speaks like a kid at times.

He sings like a kid at times.

This lovely little boy, is my boyfriend.

He buys my favourite food, he buys me what I want at the moment.

He fed me with all the awesome food.

This guy who's gonna make me fat, is my boyfriend.

He makes me angry without knowing, he pissed me off from time to time.

This irritating idiot, is my boyfriend.

He talks loud, he laugh loud, he sings loud.

This loud guy, is my boyfriend.

This perfect imperfect, is my boyfriend.

:Even I have hundreds of reason to leave you, I'd still find that one reason to fight for you.

2010-08-05T22:41:00.002+08:00

Mad fucking upset now, and I don't even know what I am upset about. Yeah, probably its the result. But then again, this isn't the first time I got F what. Or maybe...it's because of ___'s reaction when I tell that person about my result.

I mean...I don't need your -.- after knowing my result. Instead, I need you to be more encouraging. Isn't that what you're suppose to do? Urgh whatever la. I learnt that its my paper, my results. I shouldn't even pull you in from the start. Not to say accompany me study.

For UT3, I shall study myself.

I want Honeydew Milkshake now. I WANT IT NOW. I DON'T CARE.

I am freaking easy to please, just get me either honeydew milkshake or vanilla ice cream when I am upset, and I'll smile right away.

2010-08-03T17:36:00.002+08:00

I'm just a kid.

Two kids were playing in a park and begin to argue.

One said "I hate you, I'll never play with you ever again!"

For a few moments, they played separately. Then later they started playing together again.

How do kids manage to be mad at a minute, and be the best friend the next?

Simply because it is more important to be happy than right.

Got a haircut earlier, and soon I'm heading to granny's for dinner. Then...maybe meet some friends to hang out? I don't know yet.

Life's a bitch. I have nothing to do at all. &I don't know what's wrong with the world. Everyone seems to be so busy for me ):

Okay bye, I'm just updating for the sake of it.

2010-08-01T18:01:00.002+08:00

For you, I will.

For you, I don't mind lying my way through just to keep you away from trouble.

For you, I don't mind being question for every single thing that I do.

For you, I will.

I don't want to be the winner in this game any more. I don't want to fight for any position in this game any more. You want to win, I let you win.

Where's love when both are fighting to be at the top?

2010-07-29T11:26:00.003+08:00

How I use to be

I miss swimming. Not like I know how to swim, I just like being in the water.

I miss the sun.

I miss the sand.

In short, I want to go Sentosa.

Seems like N is going to be busy working for the next 2 weeks, I should plan my own stuff then. Urgh, life's bored when he's busy with work.

Ah well, maybe I should use this time to start studying for UT3.

I feel like...shopping. There's nothing I really want, but I just feel like shopping. Contradicting, but yes I just feel like shopping.

2010-07-26T13:01:00.003+08:00

Fun and games till someone get hurts.

Whole day out yesterday with N& Gavin. Tired but great time spent. Well it wasn't about where we head, but who we head with isn't it? :)

N asked me to reach his place by 11am, so I thought he's gonna leave home at about 1130 or so. In the end...he was happily sleeping away untill 1pm. Over to Novena to buy the present then..the Pinnacles! Omg, his sis's place is nice nice nice nice nice. With a room full of Hello Kitty which I'm still amaze about. Till now I still am.

His niece is cute to the max. I swear I am in love with her. Zomg, I want a kid who's that cute as well. Big eyes, chubby face, when she throw tantrum also cute ah!

Though it was super awkward to be there because of all the relatives, but still thank God for Gavin who was there to be awkward with me. HAHAHA. We stick to each other wherever we go because N can suddenly walk away then leave us alone there.

Left at about 7plus, AMK hub to watch movie! :) Old Cow vs tender grass. HAHAHA Crazy show. Though the plot line was like any other local movie, it's the funny part that's worth the watch I guess. Gavin&N were literally laughing through the whole show la.

Headed home shortly after 12am, and I am so excited about learning Dota from N& Gavin! :)

Woots woots. I think if N gets into Army, I can spend my weekdays playing Dota. Train train train, and one day I'll beat him in it. Hiak hiak hiak hiak hiak.
Okay, I know I'm kind of dreaming now. I don't even know what's the whole game about -.- But well, this shall be my short term goal in life now. HAHAHAHAHA, ridiculous goal.

Oh you know I dreamt about N last night. Together with his Dad and...another FB girl. HAHAHAHAHAAH. Omg, that dream is damn stupid because the Dad is damn freaking nice to me. But N was a bastard in the dream. &When I got into Facebook earlier, the first person I see on the newsfeed is that girl. Not like they know each other, and I seriously don't know why I can linked them up together in my dream. I'm such a weirdo.

It's the 26th, holidays in 2 weeks time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE 2MONTHS HOLIDAY.

2010-07-23T10:30:00.006+08:00

You have so many girls around you,

sometimes I have to step aside to give them space.

They may not mean something to you, or maybe they do.

But they do meant something to me,

to me they're a threat.

2010-07-21T12:26:00.002+08:00

Contented.

Last paper is over! :) Though it was a pretty crap paper, which made me lose 95% of my brain cells in that 45minutes, still I am glad that its over. If I get another F for this module, I can skip UT3 already -.- Like seriously, I can't possibly pull up my grades by taking UT3 when I have 2F for the same module.

Its not really nice to see you working your ass out, at times did not sleep, then still have to bring me out.

I should be contented with what I have, and stop asking you to bring me out. I feel like an asshole now. I'm sorry and thank you for everything Darling.

School sent another letter, freak this time round its Stepdad who opens it up. My life...it's gonna end. HAHAH. FML, I knew the letter is here but forgot to take the letter before my stepdad does. Plus...I skip school again today.

Urgh, Stepdad opens the letter, walk into my room and realise I didn't go school again. Double killed. But then again, I skip lesser day compare to last semester lor -.-

Last 3weeks, I shall try my best to attend school everyday :/

Mum got home a minute ago from the doctor. The report is fine, but going back again 3weeks later -.- All because of the stupid surgeon. Her nerves are sort of affected, pills are given now.

Hope the pills does some help now.

2010-07-19T12:12:00.002+08:00

Now, even my conviction is taken away.

Woke up, with tons of question in my head. I've change, I know it myself. So much that I began to doubt myself, what's wrong with me? It is not supposed to be like this. I told myself to be in control of everything, I told myself no matter what I'll be the one leading this game. But it seems like I'm losing myself as well.

Pretty much, I hate myself now. The way I'm leading my life, the things I'm doing, the conviction I've chosen to let go.

Now that I've chosen to give all, I'll be left with nothing when things happen.

Cause I really am afraid now.

2010-07-15T14:13:00.002+08:00

This game.

Pretty bored in class. I hate today class, because the faci sucks. It seems like she knows nothing. "I think so"

I can teach in this way as well -.-

You think, I thought, Who confirm! Tmd.

okay, I'm pretty smart to understand this module myself :) Thank God she's not the faci for module like Anotomy or whatever shit. If not I'd flunk the whole module badly.

Last paper on Tues! :) Awesome to the max.

I can't wait for holiday in 4weeks time. And...the holiday last for 2months baby! :D

Hiak hiak hiak, here comes my fun. 2months baby!

Gonna work my ass out because I want to go Bintan with classmates!

But freak, N's off to NS on 16th Sept. &I still have one month of holiday then. Sure bored like what only.

I can't wait to graduate. I know there's still like one and a half year left, but I can't wait to accomplish whatever that's waiting for me. I don't know, I'm just excited for everything after I graduate.

I graduate, N ORD. That would be awesome, okay that's if we are still together then. HAHAHA. Never know what's gonna happen next.

Mad bored in class, bye back to studying. I've such pathetic life now.

2010-07-14T14:52:00.005+08:00

You may not be perfect, but you'll always be enough.

Time check: 259pm. Here I am in class, alone.

Rest of the classmates are over at the other classroom, and I'm waiting for them to be back. &UT starts at 430pm. Didn't attend school today again :/

Yesterday was awesome. Literally, AWESOME :)

Waited for N in school after class ends(This part ain't awesome at all), he actually fell asleep -.- I'm smart enough to think that he'd be back to sleep thus I called him. Well, waited for 2 hours but thank God for classmates that happens to be staying back in class.

Oh so well, headed to Swensen for dinner. Then met Dawn& Ahlong for movie. Predators! Okay, this show suck ttm. I swear the ending is...crap.

Back to Sembawang, and headed to drink a little.

I start to feel a little bad because everything cost a bomb on N. Though I enjoyed myself a lot, but his pocket...burn a hole a lot as well :/

I love N because he brings me out on his off day.

I love N because he's always so nice.

I love N because he always give me the best.

Done studying, hoping that the paper wouldn't be hard later :/ I am not prepared to be doing Essay at all man! Walaoooooooooo.

I feel like going Shopping on Saturday, anyone? :) I want to buy dress, tops, shorts, shoe, bag...EVERYTHING!

Can God drop some money down for me? I'm not working...NO MONEH TO SHOP. MONEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2010-07-10T17:18:00.003+08:00

Cepheids

It's always nice to hang out with people you love, and fun-loving people! :) Last night was awesome, even though its tiring.

&I think I should have skip training, slept over at N's and head to test just now. But well...still I head down to training, headed for exams, bought present, and here I am home.

N is still sleepingggggggggggggggg.

Freak, I don't understand why he can't hear his phone ring when he's asleep. I mean...it's not like I call him soon after he sleep. He slept for 9 hours already for goodness sake. He should be called a log man, HAHAHA.

Bahhhhhh, I am mad tired. I think I am gonna fall asleep any time soon if he doesn't wakes up -.- I need my bed badly.

Shall take a nap and wait for N's call then. Goodnight!

Love is handing someone a gun and letting it point at your head, believing that he won't pull the trigger.

&now I'm believing that you won't.

2010-07-07T23:35:00.002+08:00

I need to party

Pretty much, I miss these girls. Can't wait to have fun after UT! :)

LET'S PARTY TILL WE DROP DEAD.

My plan for tonight was to complete 2RJ and my 1000word essay. Then shall continue on to watching of Germany and Spain's match. But well...it seems like I'm way behind time :/

Manage to complete one RJ already! :) Mad happy. hahaha. Moving on to the next one but the question is enough to kill me. HOW TO LINK TO ALL THE PREVIOUS PROBLEM?! Think I some smartass? Oh sorry, I'm like some dumbfuck that doesn't understand the previous problem at all :/

Oh well. Speaking of essay, I don't feel like attending school tomorrow. Maybe I should do it tomorrow,then email it to the module chair before 5pm. Should I?

Wait, I think I've skipped consecutive 2 days of tomorrow's module -.- FML.

Can someone come to my rescue at this time? :) Too bad N's not in RP. IF NOT I SURE ASK HIM DO MY ESSAY FOR ME. hahaha.

YAY, I CAN'T WAIT FOR WENDY'S BIRTHDAY! :) Time for me to have fun with them again. Hoping N would be able to make it, cause I don't wanna go aloneeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Freak.

Seems like there's quite a number of people birthday in July.

Stacy's next week! :)

This is going to be a long post. I don't know why either but it seems like there's a lot for me to say. HAHAHAH.

Pretty much I think life's been well. Of course, when there's an awesome lover around.

But that Idiot hasn't been meeting me for like...I-DON'T-KNOW how many days already. TMD. Don't know what he's been busy with also -.-

Idiot if you don't meet me, I'm gonna run away with some other guys already hor.

RAPE YOU THEN YOU KNOW AH.

Awesome awesome boyfriend.

Freak...I feel like sleeping even before I complete the second RJ :/ Can I not go school tomorrow pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Okay, I need to rush out the second RJ by tonight. Whether or not I complete my essay, I'll see how things go.

2010-07-06T14:21:00.002+08:00

Till then.

Stomach cramppppppppppppppppppppp ):

Hate to be in class in this situation, and there's still test later on.

I want to get home now.

I miss N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. (L)

okay bye, back to study.

2010-07-05T14:07:00.002+08:00

Fuck face! (Y)

I love making ugly faces, I don't care if I am ugly because I am ugly. LOL.

Mad hyper now but I'm in school library. Studyingggggggggggggggg (Y)

Done studying for tomorrow's UT, trying hard to start my essay. But...I just don't feel like doing :/

Heading over to dad's place later! Finally my allowance is coming in. I've been living on my own for like...3weeks. I see money in my bank depleting but no income at all. Freak, I need a job like seriously.

Feel damn fat now. I've been eating hell lot.

I am hungry again -.-

I should stop eating so much, before I get fat like...FAT. I hate being fat, I hate being fate, I hate being fat, I hate being fat.

CAN I HAVE METABOLISM LIKE JASMINE'S? NEVER GET FAT EVEN THOUGH SHE EAT A LOT.

2010-07-03T13:04:00.003+08:00

Somehow, someday, someone.

I hope somehow, someday someone would just hug me for long. They don't ask why, they don't ask what happen, they don't blame. Just a hug, with no ounce of selfishness. All that I need, is a reassurance of everything.

I don't know if what I am doing is right.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what's going to happen.

Wrap me around their arms,with just one sentence "All will be fine"

2010-07-02T23:20:00.002+08:00

Amazing Grace

My heart breaks when I saw Mum earlier. I thought it was a real minor surgery, thus I did not came home straight after school. Mum rested the moment she was home, woke up earlier at 11pm.
There, she came and open my door. I see the pain, right on her face.

This minor surgery caused so much pain on her, it hurts to see her like that. I'd never like to see her like this.

The loudest voice in the house, now become the softest. The pain of hers breaks my heart, literally.

I want her to recover fast ):

N, where are you.

2010-07-02T00:56:00.003+08:00

None.

Pretty much, all are fine now. I'd say things are better than I thought it was.

But...mum's going for some surgery in 8hours time. Minor one, but still who wouldn't be worried? But what's getting me worried is the lab test after that.

Oh well, praying that all are fine.

UT are coming up again. Rather, the first paper is going to come in 4 days time. Who's expecting it to be a fast? I'm not ready yet, so not.

&my 1000word essay is due next Thurs. I need more time, more strength, more motivation, more determination to finish this. I know I should stop procrastinating, but...this is just me. I just can't get down to work.

I need someone to freaking hell study with me.

Volunteers, anyone?

I can't wait for holidays to come. I need to party.

I want to go for holidays. I want to get myself pampered with shopping.

I want to go Sentosa.

So many things that I want to do...but where's time?

Freak, 1.25am and I still have school tomorrow. What a life.

2010-06-29T21:10:00.002+08:00

Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst.

I'd rather have you saying spiteful words to me, than keeping silent. Because spiteful word hurt the feeling, but silence break the heart.

Right from the start, I should have just keep quiet and keep things to myself. Then all this wouldn't have happen.

Can we just stop this fight. I really am sorry.

2010-06-28T19:34:00.001+08:00

Love.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You made me happy, when skies are grey.

You never know dear, how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.

2010-06-28T00:38:00.005+08:00

Random thought.

At this hour, I couldn't get to sleep. Just got home from meeting N :)

School tomorrow, and I'm still wide awake. Time like this, hell lot of thought would come into my mind.

This is just a random post, of all the random thought.

Sometimes, I really wonder if I'm taking granted of things that are given to me. From time to time, it seems like I don't appreciate what is given. Well, I know I deserve none but still..I always wanted the best.

People around treats me nice, and I frequently take granted of them. Especially my love ones.

To N, I think I've been such an ass :/

Because I know he treats me best, I'd turn to him whenever I need someone to rant to, like it was his fault that problem come.

Because I know he treats me best, I take everything that he give for granted.

Well if you know me well enough, you should know I'm one who loves to think about my future. About what I'm going to do, about what I'm going to achieve, about what I would love to be.

I can sit in my room, listening to songs and just think about my future for the whole day.

No one likes to live aimlessly. Likewise, no one loves to live with someone who live aimlessly.

Well, as far as I know, I'm definitely going to move out the moment I find a stable job after I graduate.

Whether or not I'm going overseas to further my studies, it really depends on my grade. &of course financially, if I am able to handle the whole cost. Definitely not forgetting the people around me, I know it would be just like a year or two, but living alone in a total unfamiliar place do allow me to think twice about the thought.

Speaking about the future, I love talking to Stacy about it. I mean, who knows me more than she does. We can just sit around some void deck/Park, and start talking about this for an hour or more.

There's so much more. I'll leave it to next time because I'm starting to get tired. Goodnight and I love N!

You are my sunshine.

2010-06-25T13:15:00.002+08:00

Away from realities.

Pretty much, I hate life now. Rather, its those hectic life.

School's being sucha bitch, trainings are increasing. &I'm sure..there are more to come :/

Yesterday was an awesome time spent, I did nothing but sleep and watch Avatar with N. From 3am, we slept till 4plus 5. Watched Avatar, bathed, and headed out for dinner at 10pm. Awesome life, and for once I thought there's nothing awaiting for me to rush out.

But now...I realise I haven't find any song for tomorrow's audition, and my routine isn't out at all. Mad. Here comes my crazy life again.

How I wished every week, there would be one day for me to spend time like this. That would be awesome I swear.

Because when I'm with you, all are fine.

Nothing for me to worry, everything are settled.

That's why I always love you.

2010-06-23T01:39:00.002+08:00

Wonderful time spent, just you and me.

Hey Stacy baby, I miss you like no others you know! Can we have a day, just you and me and we'll hang out like usual.

I wanna go Sentosa with you again, and we'll just lie there and tan. I miss the sun, sand, sea and us!

I hope you know even though there's N now, you are not forgotten! &of course, I know I've been spending time with N this few days :/ Let's have a meet up soon all right?

Again, we'll have our confession time together.

Love you baby, see you soon! :)

Time spent with N is always nice.

Watch online movie& falling asleep in your arms.

Playing and laughing together.

Tired; and having a nap together.

Getting impatient, but still you waited for me.

Getting crazy, and you laughing at me.

Simple, yet wonderful life.

I don't ask for much, these are more than enough.

I love you 'Jerk' :)

2010-06-18T20:36:00.002+08:00

Let's not make the same mistake again.

This just feel weird. I don't know, but something is wrong.

Insecurity I would say.

I'm not going to question; still trusting that all are fine. All are fine.

I don't want to commit the same mistake again.

Tell me, who am I to you. Tell me, all about how you feel. Can you?

2010-06-12T21:23:00.004+08:00

Angel

Cute+Naive+Innocent+Pure= Me! :)

N, I'm like an angel. &you'll always be the devil. Hiakhiakhiak.

Nevertheless, I love the evil one.

2010-06-11T15:21:00.003+08:00

What a weekend.

I've got no plans for this whole weekend except for tomorrow morning, training. Bah.

N's going Azzura tonight,its so not-my-kind-of-place, so of course I'm staying at home and be a good girl :)

Should I do my essay, yes no yes no yes no. Ala, I should at least do the introduction right. Heh.

Introduction= Definition.

Okay, since I'll be home tonight then I shall just do it.

Psychology UT1 results out...Nice la, I think I have to go school everyday just to pull that stupid grade up. Bah, I hate school.

The urge of quitting school and work full-time is back ):<

But well, my dad will kill me. &I bet Nelson will kill me as well.

Fine, I shall just head back to sleep now since I have nothing to do.

2010-06-10T01:02:00.002+08:00

Whispers, Hello I miss you quite terribly.

I am just too lazy to update. Rather, I have nothing to update at all.

For the last 2 days, all my mind was about that stupid 16th Sept which is coming in 3 months time. Pretty much, I hate NS. I mean...why must it come when the both of us have decided to get back together. Can't the letter come later -.-

What a timing.

I swear I feel like crying the moment he called and tell me. In just 3months time, I can't see him for 3 weeks. Wts, and practically all the weekdays after.

Bah. I hate this.

I hate it when I can't meet him.

I hate it when I can't see him whenever I want.

I hate it when I can't text him in the day.

I hate it more if he have got outfield.

I hate it when he has to suffer in the camp.

On a lighter note, I have been craving for hell lot of food recently. Fishball noodle, curry noodle, chocolate, potato chips, chocolate ice cream, popeyes, stingray, bbq chicken wing.

Ah, I love food :)

2010-06-07T16:58:00.002+08:00

WAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUP

Last week was crazy, from Monday- Saturday I woke up at 615am and headed home after 10pm except for Thurs.

Awww I miss annoying potato, he's back in Hong Kong already ): Nobody plays WAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUP with me on the street any more ):

I must say, even though the whole week is tiring, but still I had fun.

I wonder when is the next time we head over to HK, or is he coming back at the end of year :)

Yesterday after service, headed home and slept from 7-10pm. Then 3am to 930am. &10am to 230pm. So much sleep, still I am tired.

But because of the hunger now, I can't get back to sleep -.- Waiting for N to be done with his stuff then head for dinner with him! :)

I bet he won't finish his stuff that early, I shall do my nails, eyebrow and do some reading! What a perfect life, with awesome people around me.

2010-06-03T15:54:00.002+08:00

Hi, I love you.

Finally I got my laptop back.

This whole week is a very packed week. Kelvin Man is here in Singapore! :)

So, Mon-Wed helped out in Teachers' Workshop from 9-5pm. &had Dinner with Kelvin,Asiah& Ms Lee for all 3 days straight and I only got to get home after 10pm.

Jump Fest! competition today. Some incident happen, &I hope he's fine ):

Finally a day I got to come home early so I am bringing Mum and Stepdad to Ajisen later. I am a good girl :)

Tomorrow& Saturday have to go down Hongwen for workshop. &Kelvin is leaving on Saturday night. Awww, I'll miss Annoying Potato a lot.

LOL.

Asia Conference was a blast! I miss the whole thing pretty much even though its really tired to be queuing everyday.

Last but not least, I love N.

2010-05-25T01:32:00.002+08:00

You don't trust me, you don't trust my love.

Weird feeling, bad feeling. I don't know. Indescribable feelings. Stirring my emotions up all over again.

I don't know what you want.

I don't know who's the person you're talking about in your blog.

I wouldn't be so sure that its me, because you said nothing about it.

All I know is, I'm left hanging.

The brightest star; that's you.

2010-05-23T21:51:00.003+08:00

Because.

Because we used to be so close.

I want to turn to you at any time, just to say I love you.

I want to turn to you at any time, just to give you a hug.

I want to turn to you at any time, just to kiss you.

I want to turn to you at any time, just to rant to you any problem I face.

I want to turn to you at any time, just to call you 'baby'.

I want to turn to you at any time, just to do retarded things and we'll laugh it off.

All this, I can only say when I'm drunk.

Because I don't have the courage to do so when I'm conscious of things that are happening.

Because,

we're different now.

2010-05-23T18:40:00.002+08:00

I hate myself.

Cut my hair earlier on, and I'm cuter now. Hehehe :)

Last night, or rather, this morning was crazy. I didn't know what to do at all.

Half of me wants to rush down and help you out.

I stop, and ask myself, do you even want me to be there.

Oh well, you're fine now. That's all that matters.

Every little thing that you friend told me, it matters much to me.

My heart, its always questioning. But not one time, I get an answer.

None of it was ever worth the risk, you are the only exception.

2010-05-22T16:37:00.002+08:00

Why?

Last night was a blast. When I got home this morning, change;remove make up and BAM I went to bed straight. And due to that, I skip training today :/

There are things which I don't understand.

&you don't even bother to explain.

I don't see the difference, I don't get the point of what you said.

Together, the world hate us.

Separated, I hate myself.

2010-05-20T21:25:00.002+08:00

So, what's next?

Because I saw what you said.

What are all these about?

I got happy, for an hour.

After that one hour, I asked myself.

What's next?

Left hanging, doesn't know what to do at all.

It's either now or never.

2010-05-19T13:01:00.002+08:00

Bored ttm.

I don't know what to do after school leiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Like bored only -.-

School have been pretty much a bitch. UT, and now my name is highlighted. Fine, I shall attend school everyday untill holiday comes.

I think my dad will kill me if he knows about this. &worst, I have to receive his call almost everyday asking if I am in school.

Since I haven't had maggie mee for like...months already. I shall head home tonight and cook myself (Y)

Very tired now, and stomach pain laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Irritated much ):<

2010-05-16T18:29:00.002+08:00

LIKE HYPER ONLY EH.

Damn hyper this 2 days, I don't know why either. Test starts tomorrow, boooooooooooooooooo.

I'm so bored, trying to find something to do. Not studying of course, since I got the notes from Rhoma-ma already. Heh.

HYPER x100000000.

I wanna head out now, but it's raining heavily.

Love me love me, say that you love me!

okay, I shall bath now. Then head to watching of shows.

I'm a happy girl now, HEY APPLE!

2010-05-15T22:24:00.002+08:00

Sick X1000000000000

I still love taking photos at this point of time. Heheh. I don't know what to do on a Saturday night. Date with mum was cancelled cause...she went Cruise(?) gambling -.-

Brother had booked in, stepdad went I-don't-know where.

I want to go shopping but don't know who to find.

Gave up on searching for things to do, headed to bed at 5pm. Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Y)

Here I am, 1030pm wide awake. I don't know how to wake up for church tomorrow. Hopefully Ted remembers to call me up.

I am typing for the sake of typing. I don't know what to type anymore, but I just feel like typing. HAHAHAH. Random.

Hey apple, hey apple, hey apple, hey apple, hey apple.

I am burning hot, my nose are like a running tap, my throat...I sound like Donald duck now.

Immune system DOWN. After effect of partying, and it took a week for the reaction to kick in.

I need you now. Like now now now now now. &it's you you you you you.

Crap.

2010-05-15T03:02:00.002+08:00

Suddenly, I miss you so so so so so so so so much.

Nothing that I could do.

I don't understand, why can't we be back to how we use to be like.

Sick now. &I feel like shit.

2010-05-13T23:17:00.002+08:00

18thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Thank you for all wishes! Love you all to da max la! :)

So...today. I skip sch, went for training, audition at 6pm.

AWESOME-NESS. I love myself because, I am a flower naoxzxzxz. hehehe.

&I bet I dance better than __ lor! Please come on, I am cuter than them -.-

十八姑娘一朵花

I had awesome celebration at the chalet, contented! &all the wishes, make happy like siao only. &best of all, goodfriend remembers. Saw the text when I was awake. I HAVEN'T TALK TO HIM FOR LIKE...MONTHS.

Also, Peco said Happy Birthday to me on FB!!! :) Okay, if you don't know who he is, he is a rope skipper from Hong Kong. Team: DCOC.

Very very very very very very good in rope skipping. My idollllllllllllllllllllllll.

I was so fine so fine.

However, things turned around when I sat on my bed, all alone in the room.

My best gift, would be you.

I miss you, I need you.

Promised myself not to text you, but I'm a little out of control.

P.S I love you.

Still, always, I love you N.

2010-05-10T22:10:00.001+08:00

No. Yes.

You never asked what I wanted. &I never want you to let me go.

As simple as that.

2010-05-10T14:06:00.002+08:00

Blast!

Chalet was a blast and I really thank everyone who came down. &every gift :) Love it ttm!

First night was still alright, even though I got drunk and did something really stupid :/

I swear I was shock ttm when I saw all texts, couldn't react for a minute.

Second night was fun! Hell lot of surprises, and it was...crazy. Okay, I know I got myself sort of drunk again -.- But to the least, I don't start doing stupid stuff.

The worst part of a chalet...when you have to clear all the stuff before you check out.

Baby! Thank you for staying through out and help me with all sorts of stuff. Love you many many many many many!

Hazel, Elaine& JASMINE! Omg, I love the 3 of you :) Let's meet up soon again okieeeeeeeeeeeeee

We're the hottest babes, HEHEHE. Cherlynn& Rachel, let's meet up sooooooooooooooooooooooon.

K WITH ALUN SOON DURING THE HOLIDAY OKAY! Book you all first.

Hope you all really enjoyed yourself :) &thank you for the dress, mug and laptop case!

Also...I'll not think about ____ already okay Meld! :)

Hope you all enjoyed yourself! Thankyou for the balloon, love it ttm! &helping me out with the food :/

The crazy people, I LOVE YOU ALL!

The rest of pictures are in FB.

Oh well, there are so much more people that came. &people whom passed me the gift. Really appreciate!

Rest of the people I wanna thanks:

Ratata&hoothoot&their friends. Thanks for coming on the first night!

Jasmine, and her boyf&friends. I LOVE LA BABE. Let's go out with Stacy, Hazel& Elaine soon okay!

Jeremy sonofsatan. LET ME SHOW YOU MY MARTIAL ART SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. &thank you for making time to come!

Derek, Fiona Low, Siling, Nicholas, Gary, Rhoma-ma, Phay. FOR ALL THE GIFT! :)

Adam& Clavin, you 2 are really fun. I swear.

Last but not least, mummy& stepdad for paying about 80% of the stuff. &coming down. I think my mum really entertain them alot. HAHAHHA.

&Daddy for the bunch of pink roses!

2010-05-05T13:12:00.003+08:00

期待,原来是一种伤害

深爱的人已离开

是我不敢忽略你给我的爱

What else can I say, what else can I do.

Everyone deserves a second chance, don't they?

I tried my best.

Nothing is working out.

I'm making a fool out of myself.

Mind fuck, totally.

All of this should stop, long ago.

I don't know what I am holding on to at all.

Instead of you walking away,

I should be gone. For good.

2010-05-04T14:46:00.002+08:00

Cause everything you do and words you say

You know that it'd takes my breathe away.

Now I'm left with nothing.

Totally mind fuck.

2010-05-02T02:20:00.000+08:00

2010-05-01T22:08:00.004+08:00

When the time past 12, I know it's been another day without you.

Just before I head out on this Saturday night for movie, I decide to blog a little. Life have been pretty much bad for the past weeks, I never know how I manage to survive through..till now.

All I could say was that its all this shit stuff that I go through, makes me stronger.

Yes, I still sway a little from time to time. But I know I'm going to make it through this stage.

Everything that you do now may still affect me a little. Every news that I heard about you still makes me want to go back and wait for you.

I hold on to myself, all because I know nothing is going to work out.

On a lighter note, May is a pack pack pack schedule for me. I have trainings, Birthdays to attend, and worst..UT coming at the end of May. Training is enough to kill me.

Let all this event make me busy, and soon enough, I'm not going to think about you any more.

2010-04-30T09:59:00.002+08:00

You.

I'm putting my past behind.

My hope, is in the future.

Walking this exit, for it leads to another entrance of life.

In the dark, I see Your hand.

At Your name, I fall to my knees.

For You,

You are all I need.

My life, is in Your hands.

Lead me on.

According to Your plan, I'll live.

Not my will, but Yours.

2010-04-28T22:59:00.002+08:00

Hope.

Never thought I'd let myself down.

Time and again, I reminded myself that I'd move on.

Without you, without you.

I told myself you're not going to be part of my future any more.

I told myself to leave this place, because this exit will leads to another entrance of life.

But all these, I never did.

I searched deep into my soul.

I realised I have always been holding onto something.

This small little hope, that hides inside my heart.

2010-04-27T14:58:00.002+08:00

All about. You.

You're always so special.

I'll never forget the scent of yours that no one else have.

The smile that you always give.

The way you held my hand and fell asleep.

The hug that you never fail to give.

The kiss that you give every time you wake up.

The way you looked into my eyes, and sing to me.

The time you'd always give in to me when I'm demanding.

The time you'd say "All will be fine" when I'm down.

The little argument that we have, and end up being guai-lan to each other.

The time you'd tickle me untill I had to beg you to stop.

"Stop before I don't talk to you anymore" and you'd always say "you won't" with the pretty smile that you'd always give.

The time we'd fight over Donald.
The time we'd argue over who's cuter.

It is all these little things, that makes you special.

But now, we never do this any more.

2010-04-25T22:02:00.002+08:00

我爱他

One week, one week, one week. &it seems like it's been a month already. What a week.

I don't like the way things are. But well, I guess this is the best way for the both of us.

I can't help but to enter your facebook everyday.

I can't help but to enter your Blog everyday.

I can't help but to read your message everyday.

I can't help but to read your blog achieves everyday.

I can't help but to think about you everyday.

I can't help but to feel guilty everyday

This is not going to help me in any way.

I hope you know...that I'm really sorry.

There's so much that I want to tell you.

2010-04-24T00:53:00.002+08:00

Because I know you wouldn't read, I can write my heart out.

I thought I've gotten over, I thought I hated you for sure.

Hell to me. It's time like this that I miss you.

During all the thunder and storms, I want you to be there.

When I talked about it again, I feel guilty all over again.

The thought of you, makes me regretted all over again.

I'm.off.to.sleep.

2010-04-23T10:28:00.002+08:00

Life couldn't be any worst than it is now. Practically, I'm just living for the sake of doing so. The same old routine everyday. School, home. Some times trainings, cell group on Friday and church on Sunday.

There's nothing that I could look forward to in the future any more.(Except for my Chalet) I'm totally ruined.

All I want now, is to hide myself in my bedroom. Then just die there.

After the talk with N, I chose to ignore certain conversation on MSN, on twitter, on FB. My world, it doesn't include N any more.

It all ended, just like that. I never thought we'd end up fighting.

I shouldn't have asked, unknown shouldn't have told me, I shouldn't have concluded, I shouldn't asked for an explanation.

I'm moving on, letting go.

Show me how to live, Teach me how to pray

2010-04-22T19:59:00.002+08:00

Full stop. Ended, I'm ruined. That's it. Goodbye.

An end to all. You, you. Me, me. That's it.

If I wronged you, sorry. That's all.

I'm totally ruined.

Goodbye.

2010-04-20T10:33:00.002+08:00

我不是你想象那么勇敢

Through the night, I woke up more than 10 times. All because I wanted to see if you're online, if you would talk to me.

I want to be strong, I want to get out of this place. A place, without you. Everything seems to crumble down, &I'm left with nothing. Nothing

I need to get back on track.

I need you more than ever. I need you now, tomorrow.

Because I'm so use to having this Hero protecting me, I'm now nothing without you.

You seemed to be so happy with your life now, I'm trying so hard to move on. I'm still stuck in the past, you're moving to your future.

This is life.

2010-04-19T14:49:00.003+08:00

There's nothing left to say, but Goodbye.

Because the thought of you makes me weak.

I always thought I could be strong, never untill I met you.

I was awaken by nightmare. I took my phone, typed in one full text. When I was about to send, I suddenly remember that everything is different. I can't rely on you anymore.

How many times in class I battle with my emotion

How many times in class I battle with my tears

I made this decision, I regret. But one thing, I wouldn't want to turn back. Because it'd go back to square one, and we have to go through it all over again.

I can't afford to make the same mistake& fall, because I wouldn't be able pick myself then.

I tried to focus in class, but when I slow down;when all work is done, it was you I thought of.

Let all work distract me, let all events makes me busy. Because, I don't know how to handle the thought of you.

I need you, more than ever.
I love you, like always.

2010-04-18T22:50:00.003+08:00

Mixed feelings.

We use to be so close, now we're nothing.

I initiated it, I'll be responsible.

I can see how much you try.

You deserve so much more. I'm just another typical girl on the street.

I don't wanna hold you back from where you might belong.

I'm sorry.

Not loving you, it's harder than you know.

2010-04-17T18:48:00.002+08:00

Sick& tired.

Due to the weather, I'm down with fever now -.- it is always when I'm on my way home, it rains heavily. &because I did not bring umbrella out, I've to walk in the rain.

Bad headache now, &I'm hungry. Just text N, and he's out with his family for dinner. I'm too lazy to be asking other people out now. Too lazy to go and buy.

Well, I guess I'll just get to bed now.

I miss N

I need N

I want N

NOW! ):

2010-04-16T17:05:00.004+08:00

I haven't had enough fun

School yesterday was pretty nice, except for the fact that my group consist of all the quiet people. Yesterday, I was so hyper that I wanna make noise in class. I really want to! But...seeing the people in my group, I decided to watch 'How I met your mother' instead -.-

&I wasn't afraid of thunder and lightning untill yesterday. I swear, it was horrible. Now I know why Stacy is always afraid when storms comes.

It's raining again now -.- Hell. I'm going cell group later, how am I suppose to go out like this! ):<

Oh well. I skipped school on the second day :/ That's so typical of me. But I swear, there's reason! I had skippy in the morning, at Bukit Teresa. That's damn far you know.

By the time I get home, it was 10. My laptop LCD was here yesterday so Fujitsu called to ask me to bring my laptop down.

When I went the last time, the lady said I have to bring down before 12pm so that I can bring back my laptop on the same day. Definitely, I want my laptop back on the same day. So...I decided to go down today. Little did I know...it took them about an hour to finish -.- The man still told me it will take about 3-4hours, &I almost headed home. (I WAS ALONE FOR GOODNESS SAKE)

But well, I went shopping from Raffles City to city link, to Marina Square. When I stepped into Marina Square, they called. Still, I carried on with my plan of eating at LJS and shopping at Marina Square. HEH HEH. I WANT TO GO TOPSHOP AND GRAB ALL THE STUFF I SEE TODAY! Omg, I need more moneh ):

It was drizzling when the show end, and I did not bring my umbrella along. Actually, I never bring umbrella out -.- Or rather, I don't even have a small umbrella. HAHAHA.

So..yes I'm down with flu again.

Even though it's raining now, but I'm still so hot! (I'm always so hot. LOLOL Shutup baby, I know you wanna say something if you were to see this)

I wanna go swimming, but the weather isn't helping at all! Nvm, I shall see what happens on Mon/Tues evening.

The screen isn't flickering at all now, finally. If not I think I'd have another headache from seeing the laptop.

2010-04-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

School ):

I've been out from morning till night for yesterday& today. No, I'm not out to have fun. Instead it was the primary school competition.

Plus training right after the competition earlier was...dead.

Tomorrow, I'm going to be a Year2 student. Hell no, I'm not excited at all. Not studying for 2months, and now asking me to go back with all the stupid modules that I'm going to take.

I shouldn't say that the module is a waste, instead it is just me who's afraid that I couldn't cope.

This year, it's either I do well or I'll die. Practically because I did badly last year, &I want to go for attachment next year. If I don't do well this year, no more attachment, more FYP. FML.

I was distracted by all sorts of things in the previous semester, nothing makes me feel like attending class at all. I pray hard, this year is going to be good.

Nothing, just nothing would pull me down. Nothing distracts me from school work.

When school starts, I don't think I'd be meeting N any more ): ): ):

Even during this whole holiday, I barely met him. What do you think when school starts.

I have school till 4 everyday, he needs to get to work in the night.

By the time he's back, I'd be asleep.

): FML. F, this makes me miss N all over again.

2010-04-11T21:46:00.003+08:00

(L)

Let's see who is weird today.

Baby's sudden text at 2pm, then another sudden text at 645pm. I mean, both message were talking about the same thing. Only that the second message was a long long long long one.

But I only said one weird stuff today. I told him not to get back to sleep, and meet me at sunplaza& we'll go pat toh. HAHAHAHAHA. Yes Pat toh at sunplaza (Y)

Because of this text, he asked what happen to me today -.-

I really feel like asking him back, but well since he's so nice to text me then it's okay. Heh heh.

The moment I get home from church, I slept. Niceeeeeeee. But I don't know how I'm going to sleep later -.- Queenstown tomorrow morning at 1030am ):

But last show at Yishun at 1pm :) TEEHEEHEE. Finally a show at North area.

Okay,off to watch How I met your mother!

2010-04-10T18:10:00.002+08:00

(Y)

The 'bonding' session with elder brother earlier was awesome. HAHAHA. He simply came into my room, wanting to use facebook. (Oh yes, he just created one)

So throughout the whole time, he checked my facebook friends and we started talking about our common friends. Bitching session I would say.

Teaching him how to use facebook, uploading photos for him. &I swear he's damn fussy about the photos. He must make sure he looks prefect -.- Well, I wouldn't bother much thus I say every photo looks fine. HAHAHHA.

I was lying on my bed and he sat beside me, random talking.

Brother: Wow, it's been about 3-4 years man.

Me: what?

B: I doesn't have a girlfriend for about 3-4years already.

M: WALAO!! Who is the last one?! *Okay, I admit I was wondering if it was C*

B: Forget already la!

M: Then how come don't have sia. You mean, you don't like any one in this few years?

B: yeah, no one/

M: Huh. This world got so pathetic anot.

(Not expecting any answer)

Brother: Yes, this world is so pathetic.

*Turns and look at each other then started laughing*

Its always nice to be staying at home on a Saturday evening. Sudden outing/random conversation.

I'm going out with them for steamboat later! (Y) Hungry naoxzxzxzxz. Stepdad hurry wake up please.

I can picture myself shopping, eating at restaurants, doing Pedi/Medi, making up new hairstyle once I get my pay. Oh of course, paying for all the bills/stuff I'm supposed to :/

But well, there's a limit. No more job when school starts, which also equal to no pay ):

I have to depend on my allowance once again.

Somebody come and yang me la (: Heh heh.

Awwww, I miss N once again :/

2010-04-10T13:42:00.002+08:00

Another year.

A year ago, I was complaining about the start of school. The new classmates, the new environment. I didn't know how to survive through, but still here I am stepping into year 2.

Now...I need to say HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE YEAR2!!!!!

New class for Semester1 is out last night. 6 were from previous class, 2 are friend's friend. The rest are unknown, one with the same name as me.

I'm sorry but to say, I'm not very happy. All the 6 were those who I don't talk to...at all -.-

If only Wendy stays in the same class as me ):

Ah well, I still have to face it. I just hope...they are fun people. I can't stand workaholic in class.

If I were to die this year, it'd be due to peer pressure. Wendy knows why, and stop asking me to talk to them about... HAHAHAHA.

I'm looking forward to the next holiday, end of May! (: Then the holiday after that would be in August. Woooo! Holiday Holiday.

Yes, I know school hasn't even start. But still...I AM GOING TO BE SO EXCITED FOR HOLIDAY :D

Oh, I happen to turn to MTV channel. Paramore naoxzxzxzx.

How I met your mother after Paramore, heh heh. How I met your mother is so addictive.

Hello Ted. I'm going to meet you tomorrow :)

On a lighter note, I'm going to dye my hair back to black on Friday! Oh no, maybe Thurs. Or Wednesday, or Tuesday, or Monday. Any day next week when I'm free.

My hair sucks now because of the black hair that came out. I don't wanna have brown hair anymore, I'm just too lazy to be dying it every 2month.

Eh wait...or maybe I should try red this time? heh heh, I shall wait for Stacy/N to come online then I decide.

2010-04-08T23:54:00.003+08:00

Sweetest boy.

"1 new message from Baby" I trembled as I saw my phone. I never know how to react.

It took me 5 seconds to react to it, and another 20 seconds to decide whether I should open it up.

I know I have to face it somehow, and I can't be avoiding it for the rest of the day.

So as I began to press the view on the screen, I took a deep breathe. After the first sentence, I know and I know that my eyes were red. I need to be alone. But looking at the time, I'm going to be late for my job.

Holding on, I board the train that comes along the next minute. It took all of me to continue the whole message as I walked into the train.

Another 5minutes before I decided to reply. As I thought, how am I suppose to answer, to reply, to say. My mind seems to be so...so messed up.

But your reply totally change the whole situation. You're the sweetest :)

You know, that small little thing could just make me day. A little assurance from you is what I need; is just enough for me to know that everything is going to be so fine.

My heart, soul, mind. You took it all.

I love you Baby.